Ruining the Holidays

  • Coca Cola’s Very Unfortunate Christmas Can Design

    Fuzzy of sight and thought, my work brain was struggling to stay focused on the spreadsheet ahead of me. I just wanted my Christmas break to begin. I had been caffeinating all day to sharpen my attention but it was hardly working. My eyes fleetingly rested on the Coca Cola Zero can in front of

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  • Rocky Horror Picture Show: Audience Participation Script (Modern Adap…tation)

    Hello creatures of the night. Rocky Horror Picture Show is the sublime, weird mass freakout that so many of us voluntarily join at least once a year. Unless you’re a Virgin, then you don’t realize what you’ve been…missing. If you’ve tried to throw a special Rocky Horror event, then you might have recognized a few

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  • Gremlins are Totally Misunderstood

    One of the greatest Christmas classics of all-time is the 1980s hit horror film, Gremlins. Thanks to my impressionable young age at the time of its release and my mother’s repeat viewings of it every December, I grew up terrified of the song “Do You Hear What I Hear” and always thought there was something

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  • Strange Things You Never Noticed About Christmas Movies

    I wait all year long to watch classic Christmas movies. And I mean classic. None of that bullshit inside Hallmark jargon. Sorry, I was way forcing that quote and I didn’t pull it off very well. I just can’t help myself, I am THAT in love with real classic Christmas movies that teach us morals

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  • Bah, Humbug! Ebenezer Scrooge, American Politics, and the Republican Party

    Or “The Political Dichotomy of Ebenezer Scrooge as Depicted by SJW Charles Dickens” Welcome to the holly jolly time of year when we all smile a little brighter, we all drink a little more eggnog, and we all (oh so briefly) smile at the sight of snowflakes. And while we drape our tinsel and wrap

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  • Mr. Boogedy is Totally Misunderstood

    If you were a child of the 80s, then you likely know the tale of the silly and harassed Davis family who bought a haunted house in Lucifer Falls and then battled an evil ghost with a magic cloak. You watched Kristy Swanson (the worst actress ever) pout on a picnic blanket with cheese curls,

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  • It’s Thankstivus! The Better Alternative to Thanksgiving

    I’m declaring a brand-new holiday from this year forward: THANKSTIVUS! It will be observed on the traditional Thanksgiving day. The holiday does not require decoration, but should you choose to, the thematic colors are blue and black, to symbolize the bruising of our souls by Thanksgivings of years past. Thankstivus Traditions The celebration of Thankstivus

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  • Best Thanksgiving Movies & TV Episodes to Feast On

    Thanksgiving is a pretty ugly time of year. Lots of turkey carnage. And the whole guilt over what was done to the Indians. It’s a slaughtering holiday. The weather is hideous–all brown and cold, with no excuses to get some fresh air and go for a walk. There’s some kind of ludicrous law that most

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