Katie Using Words

Hello creatures of the night. Rocky Horror Picture Show is the sublime, weird mass freakout that so many of us voluntarily join at least once a year. Unless you’re a Virgin, then you don’t realize what you’ve been…missing.

If you’ve tried to throw a special Rocky Horror event, then you might have recognized a few problems: The original audience participation scripts conceived in the 1970s are pretty…out of date. There are a lot of references to homosexuality that are no good. To say the least. Plus–and I’m not Janet-level prude–I really am not wild about the word “slut”. Us women, we like our sexuality and most of us aren’t down with shaming our wild, wild ways. Otherwise, there are other issues about really dated references. Nixon? Scott-brand toilet paper?

Don’t worry! I’m not trying to remake the script. I’ve kept it classic and familiar. The biggest change you’ll find is that I’ve taken to calling Janet “shitface”. Because she really is. Worry not, Dr. Scott, you and your victims are gonna love this script.

Let’s start with your list of props. Leve out the water guns, toast, and hot dogs if the venue doesn’t allow food/water.

Now just print off a copy for each participant and enjoy your science fiction single feature picture show. From the back row.

Click the lips for your script.